This week is the first week since I started my blog that I haven’t completed enough of my Illustration Friday challenge to post anything really. I had some great ideas, that I have started, so I will eventually put the photos on the blog, once they are finished, but this week I just had to listen to my body that was screaming at me “Slow down!”. So for once I listened, as I had started getting sick, and it was that sick where you just can’t push through it, like I normally do, and do a “mind over matter” thing. I just had to give in. Do nothing when I had the chance. So instead of writing, painting, cooking, housework, etc, when the kids were at daycare and school, I slept. It was heavenly. Much needed as well, and by doing that on the day that I really started to feel unwell, I seem to have avoided getting much sicker, combined with every herbal, vitamin and drug option we had in the house too of course. It all helped.
It also reminded me about something that has been said to me numerous times over the years, by my mum, my mother-in-law, friends, every well-meaning woman relative when I think about it, bless them. Especially after my son’s diagnosis of Autism, when his behavioral issues and anxiety were so full on. The idea that is so often forgotten about as a mother, who is responsible and has little people (and others) relying on her, that you have to look after yourself as well. Because as we all know, if we run on empty for too long, we break down. Something that isn’t really an option. I remember feeling at times so frustrated and even resentful, because I was doing my best, trying to keep everything going for as long as I could, and it just didn’t seem possible to take my needs into account. Sleep, food, creative outlets, movies, etc, all those things we can treasure but not realize how important they are in filling up our own tanks, until that tank is totally empty. It was a large part of my motivation in starting this blog, securing that space, even if its virtual, for my stuff. I wasn’t really sure what that stuff would be, but I knew that the time had come to take some time for myself. Even if its only a few minutes here and there. Now I am so thankful to all of those woman who kept reminding me, even when I felt like it was an impossible fantasy to take some time and space to take care of myself. Because it is true that eventually there comes a time where it is possible and necessary. Hopefully it is possible before it is ultimately necessary.
I had major technical issues this week as well, which when I was sick just seemed like a bit of a sign to take it easy really. I can take a hint, eventually.